The Penpal Project

Name:  Dusk Mann

dusk

Age bracket : 20 +

Profession: Unemployed

How many penpals are you interested in ? Only one at the moment that may change later

What Qualities do you require in a penpal? Someone Non-judgemental, Friendly, Open-Minded and Ideally human (Although I’m open to anyone that fits the other qualities).

Do you desire to meet your penpal face to face? No I suffer a little from social anxiety and joining this project is a huge step in the process of overcoming it. I’m just trying to take it one step at a time, starting with letters and maybe developing a friendship which is something I’ve never had before.

Please describe in as much detail as Possible your reason for wanting to join the pen pal project: Simple answer I’m Lonely!  As mentioned in the last question I do suffer from Social anxiety and haven’t left the house in many years. This project has been suggested  to me as part of my  psychotherapy treatment.

As a teenager I suffered with terrible acne and had/ do have a pronounced lisp which made me the butt of all jokes which led to endless teasing and bullying.

When I could no longer stand it I locked myself away in my room with my computer, It became my little safe haven and refused to leave the house for anything. My mum tried so hard to help she really did. She talked to me, The teachers, The other kids parents, A doctor and even suggested we move to another Neighbourhood and school but if anything it made my anxiety worse and I started having panic attacks. 

Alone in my room I still suffered at the hands of the bullies I thought I had escaped. Emails and messages kept coming the notification sounds bought me to tears as I knew each one signalled another spiteful taunt, a hate message designed to hurt, devastate and destroy what little self worth I had left. I immersed myself in simulation games, living the life I wished I had through the tiny avatars on screen.

Now in my 20’s I still feel like that scared 15 year old boy. Now its been so long since I had any human interaction (aside from my mom ) I miss the little things Talking about a new film, Trying new foods, Laughing I cant even remember how mine sounds.

I just want to be normal. My mom has gone above and beyond for me and puts my life above her own. I just want to be the son she deserves and until I am able to re join society she’ll never have that.

I’m hoping I haven’t put you off and you will still allow me to be part of the project.

 

Dusk Mann

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